Rethinking Processes: My Epic Fantasy Novel

You know what?  Until just a moment ago, I thought I had it all figured out.  I don’t have a friggin’ clue.

I just wanted to say a couple of things.  There five authors that I really admire:

R.B. Holbrook of R.B. Holbrook; Mark of KingMidget’s Ramblings; Michelle Proulx of Michelle Proulx – The Blog; Charles of Legends of Windemere; and Baldy of Oopshowdthathappen.  Just stop by their respective blogs and perhaps you’ll see why.  I’m not going to explain because, frankly, my head hurts.  Needless to say, I’m feeling inspired.  I think I know what I’m going to do with my fantasy epic, now.  Of course, this is going to take much, much longer than I thought, but I’m cool with that.  I’ve learned, and that’s what matters.

If you’re not following their blogs, you’re missing out.

Just a thought.

King me.

Improving the Arkside of Thought

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As many of you know, probably my heaviest concentration is poetry.  I also do a fair share of ranting, some philosophical musing here and there, postings about my photography and graphic design work, maybe book reviews when I get back to them (which I should have one coming up here in the next couple of weeks), and any other random thoughts I have.  In an effort to improve my site, and in spite of always trying to do what I want to do, I am, in fact, curious as to what my readers think.  If any of you can spare a moment of your time and spare your thoughts, not only will I be most thankful, but I will give each of you a penny…for your thoughts…  Get it?  Moving on.  I would be thrilled if you could answer the following polls:

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5 Reasons Why Justin Bieber is the Sign of the Apocalypse

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*Disclaimer – Do not read if you are a belieber or related to a belieber.  Also, if you believe the antichrist, the devil, the pale horse, or death should not be disrespected in such a manner, it is also not a good idea not to read this post.*

People! I just had a revelation. In fact, my revelation came straight from the Book of Revelations. That’s right, that Book of Revelations…from the Holy Bible. Take a look at this passage:

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.
-Revelations 6:8

5 Reasons Why Justin Bieber is the Sign of the Apocalypse, Justin Bieber, Antichrist, the devil

That used to be one of my favorite quotes from the Bible…until I realized it was a reference to Justin Bieber. I know what you’re thinking: Sahm, you’re just taking some random passage from the Bible and making shit up because you really, really, really hate Justin Bieber. What’s your point? *CGH* I mean, no I’m not! Hear me out, hear me out! You can’t look at Justin Bieber and tell me that he isn’t pale.  Bear with me, though, and I’ll tell you the 5 Reasons why Justin Bieber is a sign of the Apocalypse. Continue reading

Concerning My Relationship With Blu and Other Subjects of Concern

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*Disclaimer – this is a general posting, not to be construed as directed at any one person, but to all persons, though it is inspired by various recurrent situations that I have not addressed.  As a standing rule, if I have a beef with an individual, I will name said individual.  There will be no error, and there is no beef.*

Good day people.  I need to make myself clear about something, here and now, so as not to ruffle any feathers in the future, and because I have not taken the time to do so in the past.

I am in a relationship with a woman that I am very deeply in-love with.  Her name is Michelle, but you all know her as Blu.  She is the moderator of the blog Life and Love.  She is a green-eyed, French-speaking beauty who nobody (beyond maybe one or two of you) has any idea of what she looks like and for the simple reason that she does not post pictures of herself anywhere.  Were she to do so, the men lining up to get her attention before they even attempted to get to know her for the person that she is would stretch the length of the CONUS.  While that may be a slight exaggeration on my part, I need to illustrate this point for a few reasons: her not putting her pictures up is her choice for her reasons, not at my request and not to protect my ego (as my ego is too god-like to need protection).  She chooses not to show herself, and I respect her choice not to do so, so you will never see her and me in any pictures online; you will never see her in any videos wherein you see me.  The final reason is this: people do not need to be concerned with her appearance, but with her character, with her person.  She is hosting a blog, and it’s not to be judged by her appearance, but by what she enjoys learning about and what she enjoys posting.  She’s doing a lot to help me and Pap out with We Drink Because We’re Poets, as well, and the last thing that I would want to hear anyone say is that I’m somehow using her looks to garner attention.  I don’t know which would piss me off more: the accusation of using her looks for my own ends, or her being reduced to just her looks.  Either way, I’d probably lose my shit on someone’s face like a rabid monkey in a cage.  Continue reading

Karma, the Most EPIC of FAILS

*Disclaimer – Please do not read this post if you meet the following conditions: 1) You are prone to insecurity.  2) You are prone to making undue assumptions.  3) You really are an epic failure.  If you think this a post is about you, in short, you’re vain.  If saying as much isn’t enough, please follow these recommended steps: 1) Find a  bottle of Windex.  2) Drink the contents.  That is all.*

epic fail

What is an Epic Fail?

From the Urban Dictionary:

The highest form of fail known to man. Reaching this level of fail means only one thing:You must die, or the world will fail itself due to such an extreme level of failage.

:OMG I gotz teh myspaces n mah yootoobs rool n sutf n u sux cuz u has no myscapes!
facedesk epic fail

Face desk

You know those times you can just see shit about to hit the fan?  I mean, those times when you’re looking a few feet down the street, right into the grill of a Ford F-150, and you see these people just standing there, about to get hit.  You try to warn them, but they have more faith in that truck missing them than they do in getting the hell out of dodge.  Then…

BAM!  They get hit.  And when they’re lying in the hospital, having their wounds and broken hearts tended to, all you can do is wonder, Why are you so surprised? Continue reading

The Kitchen Nightmare to End all Kitchen Nightmares

Wooooooah!

Kitchen Nightmares

Kitchen Nightmares (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

People, people, people… OMG! I just had one whirlwind of a trip, and all from watching an episode of “Kitchen Nightmares“. This came to light after my lady put me on to the episode. Normally, and while I’m a fan of Gordon Ramsey (not least of all for the way he doesn’t mince his words), I don’t watch reality shows, but this one I had to view.

Check it out, if you have the time:

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Public Enemy Number One: the Typo

You know what, people? Blu is a great lady.  Why?  Come close and I’ll tell you.

MP___Awkward_Typos_by_Manic_hyper_hedgehogTurns out she cares about my writing. In fact, she cares about it a bit more than I do, at times. You know what her favorite line to use with me is? “There is no excuse for typos! You are a WRITER!” When I mouth off or get snappy, she levels me with a challenging glare and says to me, “You know what, Sahm? There really is only one level of dead. I wasn’t just saying that for my health.” At which point, I slink back to my desk, still grumbling under my breath that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, and I correct whatever typos she’s found in whatever post she found them in.

The honest truth is, while I might pretend to dislike it, I actually do appreciate it, because I’ve this habit, most cases, of reading right past typos. I’m pretty sure most of us do.

“But…but, Saaaaaahm, why are you telling us about typos?  Shouldn’t you be ranting, or posting some really, really morbid poetry, or talking about what happens when unicorns choke on Drake’s eyebrows?” Continue reading

Don’t Just Be a Poet, Be MILITANT in YOUR Poetry

poets and alcohol, alcholic poets, poetry and wine

We Drink Because We’re Poets tentative logo

Somebody accused me, once or twice, of being a communist.  Forgive me for dredging up old memories, but I have to bring this up because it’s something that’s counterculture to who I am.  Truth is, I’m more of an anarchist.  I mean, when you sit down and really, really think about it, yeah, I’m probably closer to an anarchist…of sorts.  Actually, as one of my classmates would tell you, “He’s an apocalypsist,” by which he means I just want to see the world, and everything on it, burn.  There might be something to that.  All jokes aside, I might have just a teensy weensy problem with authority, so it wouldn’t be like me to really entertain any particular system of politics seriously and say something like “I prefer that one over this one.”  Truth is, I don’t like any of them.  What does this have to with poetry?

Well, it just so happens that I believe that the necessity of classical or formalized training in poetry (and for that matter, any art form) is absolute BS.  That is, going to a school, full time, for four years or longer, to attain a degree so you can officially be a poet or any other kind of artist, so you can officially write poetry and paint pictures, to me, is completely unnecessary (though, not necessarily without its merits).  Yep, you heard it here first.  Why am I telling you all this?  Come close and I’ll tell you. Continue reading

FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY

Good day everyone!

Many of you may not know this, but some time ago I wrote a couple of books.  One was a somewhat raunchy erotic novella called “28 Shades of Black” and the other was a poetry collection called “L’aria Onyx”.

To my surprise, these books have been selling.  I know, right?  Totally surprised the living hell out of me.  Continue reading

Top 5 Reasons Why Chris Brown is More Hardcore than Tupac

*Disclaimer – No rappers were harmed in the writing of this post.*

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Tupac v Chris Brown, Chris Brown and Tupac

DrakeMeme

Drake

I’m a huge fan of music.  Today, though, there seems to be a serious lack of true gangstas ever since Tupac went on “vacation”.  I mean, you have Rick Ross who can only get “play” by lacing the drinks of unsuspecting women with date rape drugs.  You have Cassidy who dedicates everything that comes out of his mouth to some obscure Illuminati god by the name of Co Caine (sounds Assyrian, if you ask me).  You have Drake whose eyebrows are a constant distraction.  The only challenge that Chuck Norris’ beard fears is Drake’s eyebrows.  I can imagine Drake’s eyebrows, Chuck Norris’ beard, and Donald Trump’s toupee in a three-way.  It would be called Hot Fuzz II: The Head Case.  I’ll let that sink in a moment.

There is one “singer/rapper” that I think is truly hardcore.  Now, I’m fully prepared for most, if not all, of you to disagree with me.  But bear with me.  This guy is truly hardcore.  Not only is he hardcore, he is a genius.  If you missed the title, let me scream his name: CHRIS BROWN.  I’m going to tell you the top five reasons why Chris Brown is much more hardcore than Tupac ever was. Continue reading

The Top 5 Warlords and Dictators that Inspired Me

Author’s Note – I don’t personally like leaving disclaimers.  They irritate the living hell out of me.  I’m of a mind that a person should be capable of discerning fact from fiction, truth from lies, sarcasm from seriousness, and grains of salt from mountains.  Unfortunately, this is not the case.

Disclaimer – Reading is fundamental.

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Good day, people!

apprehend-thyselves-lord-satan-iii-humor-is-approaching-rapidlyYou know, I was going to write something nice and sweet and fluffy today, but then I remembered what I am: a liberal-communist-progressive-Christian-Muslim-anti-christ-anarchist-socialist-America-hating-mysoginist-baby-killing-racist.

In short, I’m Satan, and Satan don’t play that.

Instead, I’m going to piss all of you off with what you will likely deem the most ignorant, asinine post that you have ever read.  In fact, you probably won’t even make it through the post.  Yes, that is a challenge.  Why?  Because I’m going to tell you about the 5 dictators and / or warlords that have inspired me in the last 30 years of my life.

After you’ve read this and you see me for the evil that I am, please feel free to inform the Department of Homeland Security at +1 202-282-8000 or the Holy Roman Church via the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith at [email protected].   Continue reading

5 Reasons Why You Really Must Invest In Baby Powder

Reblogged from The Arkside of Thought | Poetry, Philosophy, Politics & Life:

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*Disclaimer - If you expect something politically correct, I'd highly recommend not reading this post.*

People, I have some bad news...

It’s hard out there for a pimp.  At least, according to Three 6 Mafia and Terrence Howard, it is.

Now, before any of you work yourselves into a feminist frenzy bandwagon that some opportunistic Republicans can exploit for purely nefarious political purposes, hear me out. 

Read more… 1,795 more words, 1 more video

5 Reasons Why Your Poetry Sucks and Why You Should Get Over It

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*If you can make it to the end, I applaud you.  If you can't, understandable.  Feedback welcomed, always.

We’ve all been there.  You post your poetry on some forum and it doesn’t get any play.  If you get any feedback at all, it’s usually something to the not-so-sweet melody of “That’s friggin’ garbage,” or “Why don’t you just kill yourself and be done with it already?”

Read more… 1,874 more words

For Your Kindness, Thank You

People, I would like to say one thing: thank you.

I would like to request that anyone who wishes to nominate me for any award, do not.  I appreciate any nominations, however, I do not feel at this time that it would be fair for me (specifically) to accept any awards, especially in lieu of recent events.  Most certainly my behavior, while I would argue said behavior is warranted, has been unbecoming.  That said, it would not be appropriate for me to accept such kindnesses from you all.  What will be most pleasing will be to clean up this mess that has been made and to move forward, and to make progress on what may prove to be a lofty goal, yet ultimately achievable goal.  If I have your support in that endeavor, that is award enough.

Just a thought.

We Can Be Friends, but You Need to Know These 5 Things First

*If you expect eloquence, intellectual, insightful, and creative, please read this post instead.  If you do not expect crass and belligerent, excuse me while I relieve myself of my laughter. *BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA*  Relieved.  Carry on.*

I did not begin blogging on WordPress seeking friendship.  Friendship, in my life, is not even a tertiary motivation as friendship tends to lead in the direction of betrayal, so I rarely consider anyone I come into contact with a friend.  That said, the times I use the word friend, I intend the usage to be loose, as in associate, not so familiar as in buddy, pal, homie.

Even so, I must grudgingly admit that some of you I have come to value as actual friends.  It is because I now must consider that friendships are a possible inevitability, whether I like it or not, I must explain a few things about myself.  What are those things, you ask?

Come close and I will tell you. Continue reading

Top 5 Reasons You Should Visit MT BLU’s Blog

People, I’ve decided I’m going to go on a tangent today and do something a little off kilter.  I know what you’re going to say: “My Lord God Ark, isn’t that your usual Modus Operandi?”  Why yes, lowly minion!  It most certainly is!  And now that you’ve ruined my post, I’m sentencing you to Tartarus, Hades, Sheol, Uffern, Anaon, Tuonela, Bagobo, Shobari Waka, and Gehenna!  In short, go to Hell!  Kidding.  Kidding.

I want to thank someone who has been a cornerstone, and a keystone, of my life for the last two years, someone who has been very near and dear to my heart, someone who I do not give enough credit and who I give too much of a hard time.  You know who you are: MT BLU, front and friggin’ center!

You know what’s cool about MT BLU?  I mean, besides her being my girlfriend and BFF?  No?  Well, come close and I’ll tell you, my friends, just 5 of the reasons she’s pretty damn cool (which are, incidentally, 5 of the reasons you should visit her blog)!

Reason #1: Crazy Cat Lady

adcEven though I know she’s probably going to whoop my ass for this one (which I very much welcome >:D), the first reason you should visit her blog is her fondness for cats!  See, one of the things I love about her is that she loves cats.  In fact, she’s as crazy about cats as I am, and I’m damn crazy about cats.  I love cats so much that if the apocalypse were upon us, and some random deity – let’s say Ahura Mazda – came to Earth and gave me the choice of which species to save – cats or humans – I would save cats.  Why?  Because cats can haz cheeseburgers, that’s why!  In my heart of hearts, I feel my lady would do the same, and that brings a tear to my eye…a tear of joy.  I think it’s safe to say that we both agree that cats are the shiznit.

You know what one of our favorite stories is?  It’s this story about a big cat.  This particular big cat was a tiger that got shot by some Russian dude.  Well, turns out tigers don’t like getting shot.  It also turns out that tigers’ memories are just as good as human beings’.  It also turns out that, just like humans, tigers have this thing for revenge.  So, this tiger goes to this Russian dude’s cabin in the woods, right, goes into this dude’s house, tears up all his shit, pees and defecates on it after going all Shere-Khan-gettin’-straight-gangsta-beast-mode on his junk, then goes back outside and waits in the woods for this dude to come home.  Shere-Khan-shere-khan-29354646-1034-559When dude gets home, the tiger is all like “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!  Where’s your god now, BIATCH!”  Then he’s all like “What did the five claws say to the face?”  And the Russian dude is all like “Huh?”  And the tiger, being a fan of Rick James, is all like “SLAP.”  He ends with a “Do svidaniya, poacher!”  Yep.  True story.

Needless to say, it didn’t end well for the Russian dude.  We didn’t like that story so much because it was violent.  It was more or less because we like cats, and we were both mad that some dude was just in the woods shooting up tigers knowing they’re an endangered species.  As far as I’m concerned, dude got what he deserved after trying to have his way with nature.  He got ahead of himself and nature got back at him.

My lady first told me of that story.  I had already respected tigers.  After hearing that, my respect grew.  She doesn’t really post much about tigers or cats, but you should really check out her page.  It’s AWESOME!

Reason #2: She Says She Ain’t No Poet

We’ve been having this on-again, off-again debate about whether or not she’s a poet.  She says she isn’t a poet; I say she is a poet.  Why?  Well, take a look at this poem she wrote called “Pulsing Heartbeat” and then ask me why I think she’s a poet:

ARE YOU

NATIONS FIRST

BLOWING MIND, HYPNOTIZING

PLAYING ELECTRIFYING DRUMS

NATIVE PROUD

BOUNCING AND SCREAMING

PAST GHOSTS OF DANCE

 

PUREST FORM

 

DANCE OF GHOSTS PAST

SCREAMING AND BOUNCING

PROUD NATIVE

DRUMS ELECTRIFYING PLAYING

HYPNOTIZING, MIND BLOWING

FIRST NATIONS

YOU ARE

what-is-poetry-wordleYou see, she tells me she thinks I’m a great poet (not to toot my own horn and shit).  Okay, maybe I am, maybe I’m not, but I think I’m aight.  That up there, my friends, is a palindrome.  You know what I think about palindromes?  They’re incredibly fucking hard to write.  You know how long this took her to work out?  Two hours.  You know how long it took me to write my first palindrome, A Palindrome for DeathAn entire friggin’ day!

Four reasons I respect her for this piece.  First, she tried.  Second, it’s a friggin’ palindrome and I personally find palindromes incredibly challenging (of course, I’m used to writing free verse).  Third, I think it’s an incredibly brilliant piece of poetry.  Fourth, it’s full of respect, a meaningful tribute to the First Nations, the people that we should have taken a lesson from regarding how to treat this world, a people that are owed much more than the plots of land the governments who lord over them have “returned” to them.  She doesn’t have an ounce of native blood in her and yet she is so interested in these people, some of whom are my brethren.

Why should you visit her page?  She has an expansive mind.  You can’t go wrong with a blog run by a moderator that espouses multiple views and looks at multiple cultural perspectives.  And it’s not as if she writes essays or anything.  You know, she might post a video from a First Nation group, or some photos or some such.  It’s great!  And, yo, the video from A Tribe Called Red is pretty damn dope, too!

Reason #3: If You Don’t Know How to Read, There’s Plenty of Pictures!

One of the biggest reasons I go to her blog, besides the fact that I love her, is because I don’t know how to read.  Also, one of my favorite cartoon characters is Giorgio Tsoukalos.  Imagine my surprise when I learned that Bill O’Reilly had a logical thought!  Made me ‘LOL’.  At first, I thought it was an early birthday present, and that hell had frozen over, and the world was ending (because, that’s been a long standing birthday wish of mine.  Incidentally, I stopped blowing out the birthday candles after it consistently failed to happen :/ ).

Arguably, one of her most awesome posts, besides any featuring me, was this one featuring the photography of Lee Jeffries.  In fact, it was this post that, on the day she posted it, inspired me to go out and take some photos of my own.  See, it’s things like this that she does that makes the difference, things that she never even realizes.  You know she tells me sometimes that her blog isn’t important; it’s just a blog.  Well, she may not have taken these photos herself, but she shared these photos.  Despite the fact that the entire world hasn’t come to her blog to see them, people have seen them, and that means something.  Sure, the photographer who took the photos might not know that she shared the photos, and even if he did know, he might not give a damn, but she shared them.  She shared these photos, showing the faces of people that live on the streets, faces of people that most of us, living our comfortable lives, eating our fat and sugar saturated foods, could hardly give a flying fuck about.  And sure, she only shared these photos.  It’s not as if she took them in.  But you know what?  Sharing the plight is making people aware.

And that’s a damn good reason you should visit her blog.

Reason #2: Because She Does Her Part

images (1)Okay, so this may be a bit of a guilt trip, but I think that sharing is caring and reciprocating is half the fun and all that jazz.  She’s willing to share people’s stuff.  She doesn’t have an ulterior motive behind it or anything.  Like what I’m doing right now?  She’s not asking me to do this.  In fact, I’m willing to bet that she disagrees that I should be trying to get people to go to her blog because she thinks her blog isn’t all that.  I think her blog is all that, and I think her blog should be shared because she shares people’s blogs!  And her blog is the shiznit for all of the above reasons and more!

You know what relaxes me?  The color blue…  Especially the sky as it lords over the funeral of the last enemy I slew with my mighty sword.

And my lady’s blog relaxes me.  SHARE IT!  Why?  Because she’d share yours, that’s why!

Is the guilt trip working?  What if I try the puppy dog face…  Is there a smiley for that?  Moving on…

Reason #1: Because…It’s Life And Love…  How Could You NOT Be Down With That?

Seriously, how could you not be down with Life and Love?  I mean, unless you’re a totally narcissistic nutcase with ambitions of being a god; constantly refusing to cut your hair because you’re afraid you’re going to lose your imagined powers; still thinking you’re going to live forever and feeling as if you’re preordained to conquer the world, destroy it, then remake it in your image….  love-life-prescription-wealth

Wait…crud…  That describes…me…  Oh…  Listen, just ignore that last paragraph, and bear with me a moment…

MT BLU is quite possibly the most amazing woman I’ve had the pleasure of knowing, befriending, and falling in-love with.  In fact, she’s the only woman I’ve ever been in-love with.  These are not reasons that you should visit her blog.  I just felt like making it known.  That said, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her transform, grow, increase her knowledge, and express herself in ways that even she wouldn’t have believed she could have (such as her palindrome, which I’m envious that it only took her two friggin’ hours…  HOW THE FLIPPITY FLIP DID SHE DO THAT?!?!?!?!?).  I’m never quite sure if she believes me when I tell her that her blog is one of my favorite blogs.  Truth: I love to read.  I love to learn.  Sometimes, though, even though I tend to be a little too complicated for my own good, I like to relax, and her blog helps me do that.  It’s simple, and I don’t mean in a stupid, childish way. I mean in such a way that it’s easy to transition through, assimilate the information, and just take it all in without too much thinking.  I mean it’s fucking relaxing.  I see it as a gateway of sorts, a gateway to information that I might not otherwise have.  It also provides me with some laughs.  Those things are good things to me, and those things make my days and nights.  I DEMAND MORE OF THOSE THINGS!  In fact, we should all petition her to post lots more of those things.

I believe those things will make your day too, so go on and check out her blog.  You’ll be happy you did.

5 Reasons Why You Really Must Invest In Baby Powder

*Disclaimer – If you expect something politically correct, I’d highly recommend not reading this post.*

People, I have some bad news…

It’s hard out there for a pimp.  At least, according to Three 6 Mafia and Terrence Howard, it is.

Now, before any of you work yourselves into a feminist frenzy bandwagon that some opportunistic Republicans can exploit for purely nefarious political purposes, hear me out.  Look at people like Katt Williams, Snoop Dogg, Soulja Boy, George W. Bush, and Justin Bieber…  NOBODY is taking these pimps seriously anymore.  You know why?  Because they haven’t been slapping enough hoes.  By hoes, I mean the average garden tool you can purchase at your local Home Depot.

People, I’m going to tell you, the adoring public, how you can help support your friendly neighborhood pimp!  There’s no need to whore yourselves on the streets, selling your services to johns who can’t satisfy their wives but mistakenly believe it’s their wives who can’t satisfy them, and selling crack to children and R&B singers who believe that crack is somehow whack (forgive me if that’s still too soon).  Would you like to know the trick?  No, silly, not the trick sitting across the street in the Mercedes Benz trying to look as inconspicuous as possible…  I mean the trick to helping out the aforementioned pimps and those of their ilk?

INVESTMENT

…in BABY POWDER…!  *Girlfriend hears baby powder, starts laughing maniacally in the background.*  “Now slap yo’ momma,” she says.  Indeed, “Baby Blu Super Fly MT” (that’s her pimp name).

5 Reasons Why You Really Must Invest In Baby Powder

800px-Talcum_Powder Continue reading

5 Steps on How to Be a Complete Asshole, and Why You Should Be

Hi. My name is Sahm. I am a complete asshole.

assholebadge_soylent-green-090409

Welcome to the Arkside.

You know those people that you run into on the street, those tall people that walk around with their heads held high, bump right into you, then look down on you as if you were the one that bumped into them and are, thus, responsible for ruining their entire day? That’s me. Sure, I could have been paying attention, but it’s your responsibility to recognize my inherent greatness and to kindly give me a wide birth. You see my last name? It’s King. That means M-O-V-E A-R-O-U-N-D.

No matter where I go, I hear people complaining about assholes and douchebags and the like, and I just don’t get it. People talk so much trash about Donald Trump, but I fail to see the problem they have with him. Trump is my hero, and he’s rich. You think he got that way by being kind to the peasants? Hell no! He got that way by being a no-lipped, toupe-with-its-own-personality-wearing asshole of the highest possible order. From having the audacity to throw his name in as a GOP nominee for president to daring to bribe *cgh* I mean challenge the great and holy President Barry Obama to produce his real long form birth certificate, then suing funny man Bill Maher for taunting him with a claim that his father was an orangutan, Donnie has been the standard-bearer for assholes everywhere. Continue reading

A How-To for Google+ and Google Authorship

Reblogged from The Arkside of Thought | Poetry, Philosophy, Politics & Life:

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Floating around through the blogosphere, I came upon Papizilla's post, "A New Way to Contact Me."   It inspired me to write out the process for something that I struggled with for a few weeks: Google+ and authorship.  Follow along, people, and I will lead you to the Not-So-Holy Land of Milk, Kahlua, and Vodka.  That's a White Russian…

Read more… 895 more words

Some Bad News and New Developments

Aight, peeps, I’ve some bad news.

Due to my poor time management skills, my getting a new job, having a beautiful lady in my life I want to be able to actually give some time to, and a whole bunch of other stuff on my plate, I am going to have to stop doing book reviews.  I’ve only done a total of three, EVER, and only two in the joint venture I had going on with Papizilla, but, alas, a couple of good things must come to an end.  Continue reading

Bad News: You’ve Been Tagged

Hmmm…  Looks as if I’ve been tagged.  Thank you to Pap at The Ranting Papizilla for that.  After I’m finished, he, and all of you, may regret me posting this :) .  You may also kneel.  If you like.

Very well.  First, here are the rules:

  1. Post these rules.
  2. Post a photo of yourself (if you want to) and/or eleven random facts about yourself.
  3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.
  4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.
  5. Go to their blog/twitter and let them know they have been tagged.

Now, for your pleasure – or displeasure – here is a picture and 11 random facts about me.  Enjoy!

Sahm Ataine King – Master of the Universe

Continue reading

A Little About Me, but Mostly About Her

I don’t like to brag.

I’m lying.  I do like to brag.  I thoroughly enjoy boasting about the accomplishments I have yet to accomplish but will accomplish in the future I have decided to establish, a future in which you and your grandmothers will also boast about my accomplishments whilst at the very same time wishing that you could be as accomplished as I.

Even so, this post is not about me.  It is about someone very special to me, someone that I can honestly say adds volumes to my happiness and value to these emotions I feel.

That someone is my lady, Michelle Blu.  In fact, while I’m not boasting about me, I’m going to boast about her, starting with pointing you to her blog, Life and Love.

This lady did something for me today without my asking.  In fact, she often does things for me without my asking, but I’d like to take the time to point it out, because she really did help a great deal, which prevented me from pushing the Universe Reboot Button.  You should all thank her for that.  One more apocalypse avoided.

Continue reading

How to Map a 1and1 Subdomain and Hosted Through WordPress to Weebly.com

How to Route a 1and1 Subdomain hosted through WordPress to a Weebly Site

Good day, everyone!

I created a Weebly site last night called The Art of Sahm. Let me tell you, I had a hell of a time trying to get my subdomain pointed to Weebly. The problem was, my domain is purchased through 1and1.com, hosted through WordPress.com, and now I want to throw an external site into the mix by adding a subdomain of Sahmataineking.com and pointing it to my Weebly site.

So, here’s what I learned.

Continue reading

2013 Read an Ebook Week!

Hey, everyone!

You know, I just found out about this from Smashwords. Apparently, 3-9 March is “2013 Read an Ebook Week“! What does this mean to you? Well, my books, “28 Shades of Black” and “L’aria Onyx: a Poetry Collection” will be 75% and 50% off respectively!

l'aria onyx: a poetry collection cover

l’aria onyx: a poetry collection

28 Shades of Black cover

28 Shades of Black cover

All you need are the coupon codes (28 Shades of Black – LA27A / L’aria Onyx – EH27B). And hell, even if you don’t get my books, there are plenty of other authors that will be participating in this promotion this next week, so if there’s something on smashwords that you like but haven’t bought because of the price, now may be your chance to get it at reduced price! The only thing better than that is FREE (and there will be free ebooks, too!).

Authors, if you’re on Smashwords, I’d most definitely take advantage of this. Even if you don’t make a sell, at least you gave it a chance. That’s how I’m going into it, anyway.

And if you’re wondering whether or not the books are worth purchasing, check out some of the reviews they’ve gotten:

28 Shades of Black Reviews via Amazon

28 Shades of Black Reviews via GoodReads

L’aria Onyx Reviews via Amazon

28 Shades of Black Reviews via GoodReads

TAG! You’re It!

I’ve seen the question about the importance of tagging floating around, lately, most recently on Papizilla’s post Tagging A Blog, How?  What?.

First off, let me just remind all of you that I’m not a subject matter expert where tagging is concerned.  Here’s my take, though:

ALWAYS TAG YOUR POSTS.

That is, if you are actively seeking a following.

Why Tag Anything?
Think of what you do when you’re looking for something on the internet. Continue reading

Where can you find Sahm?

Ladies and gents, how are you all tonight?  Me, I’m spiffy!

In an effort to establish an omnipresent…presence, online, I’ve become embedded in the world wide web’s social media community.  What does this mean to you?  Probably nothing at all.  Even so, I’m going to point to my various houses and invite you all in!

Sahm King on Facebook
The Arkside, Facebook
We Drink Because We’re Poets, Facebook
on Google+
on Twitter
on Tumblr
on Goodreads
on Flickr

As always, welcome to the Arkside!  I hope to see you all around!  I need minions and all that jazz.  :)

 

 

 

So, Apparently, I’m a Bigoted Misogynist…

*Update – I had a request to show the full exchange wherein I was eventually called a bigot/misogynist.  Now, disclaimer for my part, I am, like I said, an asshole, as you may see in this exchange.  If you detect any hint of trolling, condescension, and mocking, that is all me.  My entire point with my arguments was that the gun violence issue is not a simple smokescreen, as some would suggest.  Anyhow, you’ll find the full exchange below because Huffington Post is kind of funny, so I figured that, on top of linking to it, I may as well also post it here.

People, today I learned some dire news about myself.  I learned that I am a bigot and a misogynist.  I learned this on the Huffington Post in an exchange with some person called “bekahlyons”. Continue reading

A How-To for Google+ and Google Authorship

Floating around through the blogosphere, I came upon Papizilla’s post, “A New Way to Contact Me.”   It inspired me to write out the process for something that I struggled with for a few weeks: Google+ and authorship.  Follow along, people, and I will lead you to the Not-So-Holy Land of Milk, Kahlua, and Vodka.  That’s a White Russian, for those of you that don’t know. Continue reading

Scrambled Eggs Gordon Ramsey Would Give Up Swearing For

My lady showed me this video one day from Gordon Ramsey.

Now, I’m no cook, but I tried it.  They were a success!  Even so, they were missing something, perhaps a bit of “Me-ness”.  So I decided to elaborate on it by just throwing some extra stuff into the pot, as I most often do.

My friends, what I ended up with was a scrambled eggs recipe Gordon Ramsey himself would likely slap his pappy and call him Suzie for whilst rolling around in the mud for a turn or two with the pigs that are destined to become his bacon. Continue reading