People, I’ve decided I’m going to go on a tangent today and do something a little off kilter. I know what you’re going to say: “My Lord God Ark, isn’t that your usual Modus Operandi?” Why yes, lowly minion! It most certainly is! And now that you’ve ruined my post, I’m sentencing you to Tartarus, Hades, Sheol, Uffern, Anaon, Tuonela, Bagobo, Shobari Waka, and Gehenna! In short, go to Hell! Kidding. Kidding.
I want to thank someone who has been a cornerstone, and a keystone, of my life for the last two years, someone who has been very near and dear to my heart, someone who I do not give enough credit and who I give too much of a hard time. You know who you are: MT BLU, front and friggin’ center!
You know what’s cool about MT BLU? I mean, besides her being my girlfriend and BFF? No? Well, come close and I’ll tell you, my friends, just 5 of the reasons she’s pretty damn cool (which are, incidentally, 5 of the reasons you should visit her blog)!
Reason #1: Crazy Cat Lady
Even though I know she’s probably going to whoop my ass for this one (which I very much welcome >:D), the first reason you should visit her blog is her fondness for cats! See, one of the things I love about her is that she loves cats. In fact, she’s as crazy about cats as I am, and I’m damn crazy about cats. I love cats so much that if the apocalypse were upon us, and some random deity – let’s say Ahura Mazda – came to Earth and gave me the choice of which species to save – cats or humans – I would save cats. Why? Because cats can haz cheeseburgers, that’s why! In my heart of hearts, I feel my lady would do the same, and that brings a tear to my eye…a tear of joy. I think it’s safe to say that we both agree that cats are the shiznit.
You know what one of our favorite stories is? It’s this story about a big cat. This particular big cat was a tiger that got shot by some Russian dude. Well, turns out tigers don’t like getting shot. It also turns out that tigers’ memories are just as good as human beings’. It also turns out that, just like humans, tigers have this thing for revenge. So, this tiger goes to this Russian dude’s cabin in the woods, right, goes into this dude’s house, tears up all his shit, pees and defecates on it after going all Shere-Khan-gettin’-straight-gangsta-beast-mode on his junk, then goes back outside and waits in the woods for this dude to come home. When dude gets home, the tiger is all like “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR! Where’s your god now, BIATCH!” Then he’s all like “What did the five claws say to the face?” And the Russian dude is all like “Huh?” And the tiger, being a fan of Rick James, is all like “SLAP.” He ends with a “Do svidaniya, poacher!” Yep. True story.
Needless to say, it didn’t end well for the Russian dude. We didn’t like that story so much because it was violent. It was more or less because we like cats, and we were both mad that some dude was just in the woods shooting up tigers knowing they’re an endangered species. As far as I’m concerned, dude got what he deserved after trying to have his way with nature. He got ahead of himself and nature got back at him.
My lady first told me of that story. I had already respected tigers. After hearing that, my respect grew. She doesn’t really post much about tigers or cats, but you should really check out her page. It’s AWESOME!
Reason #2: She Says She Ain’t No Poet
We’ve been having this on-again, off-again debate about whether or not she’s a poet. She says she isn’t a poet; I say she is a poet. Why? Well, take a look at this poem she wrote called “Pulsing Heartbeat” and then ask me why I think she’s a poet:
BLOWING MIND, HYPNOTIZING
PLAYING ELECTRIFYING DRUMS
BOUNCING AND SCREAMING
PAST GHOSTS OF DANCE
DANCE OF GHOSTS PAST
SCREAMING AND BOUNCING
DRUMS ELECTRIFYING PLAYING
HYPNOTIZING, MIND BLOWING
You see, she tells me she thinks I’m a great poet (not to toot my own horn and shit). Okay, maybe I am, maybe I’m not, but I think I’m aight. That up there, my friends, is a palindrome. You know what I think about palindromes? They’re incredibly fucking hard to write. You know how long this took her to work out? Two hours. You know how long it took me to write my first palindrome, A Palindrome for Death? An entire friggin’ day!
Four reasons I respect her for this piece. First, she tried. Second, it’s a friggin’ palindrome and I personally find palindromes incredibly challenging (of course, I’m used to writing free verse). Third, I think it’s an incredibly brilliant piece of poetry. Fourth, it’s full of respect, a meaningful tribute to the First Nations, the people that we should have taken a lesson from regarding how to treat this world, a people that are owed much more than the plots of land the governments who lord over them have “returned” to them. She doesn’t have an ounce of native blood in her and yet she is so interested in these people, some of whom are my brethren.
Why should you visit her page? She has an expansive mind. You can’t go wrong with a blog run by a moderator that espouses multiple views and looks at multiple cultural perspectives. And it’s not as if she writes essays or anything. You know, she might post a video from a First Nation group, or some photos or some such. It’s great! And, yo, the video from A Tribe Called Red is pretty damn dope, too!
Reason #3: If You Don’t Know How to Read, There’s Plenty of Pictures!
One of the biggest reasons I go to her blog, besides the fact that I love her, is because I don’t know how to read. Also, one of my favorite cartoon characters is Giorgio Tsoukalos. Imagine my surprise when I learned that Bill O’Reilly had a logical thought! Made me ‘LOL’. At first, I thought it was an early birthday present, and that hell had frozen over, and the world was ending (because, that’s been a long standing birthday wish of mine. Incidentally, I stopped blowing out the birthday candles after it consistently failed to happen :/ ).
Arguably, one of her most awesome posts, besides any featuring me, was this one featuring the photography of Lee Jeffries. In fact, it was this post that, on the day she posted it, inspired me to go out and take some photos of my own. See, it’s things like this that she does that makes the difference, things that she never even realizes. You know she tells me sometimes that her blog isn’t important; it’s just a blog. Well, she may not have taken these photos herself, but she shared these photos. Despite the fact that the entire world hasn’t come to her blog to see them, people have seen them, and that means something. Sure, the photographer who took the photos might not know that she shared the photos, and even if he did know, he might not give a damn, but she shared them. She shared these photos, showing the faces of people that live on the streets, faces of people that most of us, living our comfortable lives, eating our fat and sugar saturated foods, could hardly give a flying fuck about. And sure, she only shared these photos. It’s not as if she took them in. But you know what? Sharing the plight is making people aware.
And that’s a damn good reason you should visit her blog.
Reason #2: Because She Does Her Part
Okay, so this may be a bit of a guilt trip, but I think that sharing is caring and reciprocating is half the fun and all that jazz. She’s willing to share people’s stuff. She doesn’t have an ulterior motive behind it or anything. Like what I’m doing right now? She’s not asking me to do this. In fact, I’m willing to bet that she disagrees that I should be trying to get people to go to her blog because she thinks her blog isn’t all that. I think her blog is all that, and I think her blog should be shared because she shares people’s blogs! And her blog is the shiznit for all of the above reasons and more!
You know what relaxes me? The color blue… Especially the sky as it lords over the funeral of the last enemy I slew with my mighty sword.
And my lady’s blog relaxes me. SHARE IT! Why? Because she’d share yours, that’s why!
Is the guilt trip working? What if I try the puppy dog face… Is there a smiley for that? Moving on…
Reason #1: Because…It’s Life And Love… How Could You NOT Be Down With That?
Seriously, how could you not be down with Life and Love? I mean, unless you’re a totally narcissistic nutcase with ambitions of being a god; constantly refusing to cut your hair because you’re afraid you’re going to lose your imagined powers; still thinking you’re going to live forever and feeling as if you’re preordained to conquer the world, destroy it, then remake it in your image….
Wait…crud… That describes…me… Oh… Listen, just ignore that last paragraph, and bear with me a moment…
MT BLU is quite possibly the most amazing woman I’ve had the pleasure of knowing, befriending, and falling in-love with. In fact, she’s the only woman I’ve ever been in-love with. These are not reasons that you should visit her blog. I just felt like making it known. That said, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her transform, grow, increase her knowledge, and express herself in ways that even she wouldn’t have believed she could have (such as her palindrome, which I’m envious that it only took her two friggin’ hours… HOW THE FLIPPITY FLIP DID SHE DO THAT?!?!?!?!?). I’m never quite sure if she believes me when I tell her that her blog is one of my favorite blogs. Truth: I love to read. I love to learn. Sometimes, though, even though I tend to be a little too complicated for my own good, I like to relax, and her blog helps me do that. It’s simple, and I don’t mean in a stupid, childish way. I mean in such a way that it’s easy to transition through, assimilate the information, and just take it all in without too much thinking. I mean it’s fucking relaxing. I see it as a gateway of sorts, a gateway to information that I might not otherwise have. It also provides me with some laughs. Those things are good things to me, and those things make my days and nights. I DEMAND MORE OF THOSE THINGS! In fact, we should all petition her to post lots more of those things.
I believe those things will make your day too, so go on and check out her blog. You’ll be happy you did.