I don’t like to brag.
I’m lying. I do like to brag. I thoroughly enjoy boasting about the accomplishments I have yet to accomplish but will accomplish in the future I have decided to establish, a future in which you and your grandmothers will also boast about my accomplishments whilst at the very same time wishing that you could be as accomplished as I.
Even so, this post is not about me. It is about someone very special to me, someone that I can honestly say adds volumes to my happiness and value to these emotions I feel.
This lady did something for me today without my asking. In fact, she often does things for me without my asking, but I’d like to take the time to point it out, because she really did help a great deal, which prevented me from pushing the Universe Reboot Button. You should all thank her for that. One more apocalypse avoided.
The story begins with my engaging in a search that very nearly inspired me to tear out my hair, an action that surely would have seen me as weak as a newborn kitten (call that my Sampson-complex).
I began grumbling under my breath, tossing out barely audible expletives left and right, f-bombing whatever third-rate site I came across in my effort to find what I sought. One of those sites, Facebook, very nearly encouraged me to email Mark Zuckerberg just to tell him what I think about his website and the fact that he looks like a gad-dern muppet on crack. I did not do this, though; I continued searching.
My lady, who was listening to me all the while, inquired as to what I was so frustrated about, and I explained, “Facebook is fucking stupid! I don’t even know why there is a Facebook. In fact, I don’t even know why there’s a Mark Zuckerberg. If I could build a time-machine, I would like to go back and time and
destroy convince Mark Zuckerberg that his place truly is a sweaty jock’s locker and that Facebook is a harbinger of the fucking Antichrist, but I can’t do that because that, my sweet love, would unravel the Universe, branch off a new timeline wherein my life does not turn out the way it is now, or it might not have any effect at all, and I already waste enough time as it is! Not to mention, I can’t risk the world lacking my presence because, after all, I am the one thing that stands between Earth and those Tribble bastards from Star Trek Season 15 Episode 44.” Now, I realize this was not in any way an answer to her question, so I answered again: “I’m trying to find this application I noticed the Huffington Post is using on their Facebook Page. I think it’s pretty cool and I want it for my page, too.”
In retrospect, I probably could have done the same instead of fumbling around with Facebook and its partners.
This is the great thing about my lady; she’s helpful, patient, and, most times, very, very efficient. She is most probably the single best teammate I could have ever hoped and asked for. She does these little things at times that just forces me to smile. Her impressions are to die for (not her impressions of me in angry-mode, or me “pouting”, though; those aren’t funny at all). She’s a real sweetheart and she deserves praise every day. Why? Because, despite what she may sometimes believe about herself, she truly is a good and decent human being, selfless most of the time, thoughtful and compassionate (so long as you’re not a rapist, murderer, pedophile, abuser of children or animals, or bigot of any kind, and I’m 100% with her on those points), considerate, and funny as all hell. She’s also humble. Too humble at times.
I’m proud of my lady for a lot of reasons, least of all her humanity, and most of all her willingness to try things she doesn’t necessarily believe she can do (she’s an artist but refuses to admit as much, a refusal for which I cannot blame her despite her obvious creative capacity and eye for what generally appeals to people).
If you have the time, please show her some love (not too much, though; she is my girlfriend, after all, and I take the majority of the love-showing domain as a serious responsibility of mine, and mine alone). What I mean is, check out her blog. It’s pretty cool if you like happening upon things that you may not otherwise happen upon in your busy lives. Need an example? Check out some of the work she posted from Lee Jeffries, or the haiku I challenged her to write about one of my photographs, or the LGBT video she posted from GetupAustralia.
She really does add to my happiness, and my everyday is made just by her presence in my life. She’s my best friend and, quite frankly, I’d be a lot more confused and probably even more impatient, irritable, and pissed off than I am now without her (she’s slowly, but surely, calming me down…or that might be my advanced age).
Yes, I do, indeed, love this woman and absolutely no reason is required!
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming, which entails me encouraging all of you to become my henchpeople.